I am constantly trying to think of things to write about now, and my life hasn't had a whole lot of variety for the last week or so since Chase has been gone. It has been all kids all the time, and once they're in bed my brain shuts off... I was sitting last night trying to not loose my mind, trying to remind myself that Chi is acting the way she is because she doesn't understand why Daddy is still gone and misses him desperately, and Moya's only 6 months old and she will spit her baby food veggies at me if she doesn't want to eat them. Then suddenly a line from the Desiderata popped into my head (mind you this is after both girls have gone to bed). The specific line goes:
"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence."
How appropriate right? It's the first part that I have trouble with. I don't think any mom with small children can forget "what peace there may be in silence." I then realized how big of a role the Desiderata has played in my life. It has been hanging in front of the toilet at my mom's for as long as I can remember, at least since I have been able to read. I have read it countless times and have large portions of it memorized. As a Christian woman it speaks to me on a higher level than just wise words, it helps me to remember to strive each day to live a Godly life. Sure it's a pain, and I mess up frequently, but it's the striving that matters.
So I have decided to use the Desiderata as my muse. I will take a portion of it each day and talk about what impact that section has had on my life, and what it means to me. I am going to include it in its entirety today for those of you who haven't read it, so you can get an idea of what I am talking about.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
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